{"product_id":"funny-inappropriate-dish-towel-kitchen-towel-calm-your-tits","title":"Calm Your Tits Dish Towel","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"214\" data-end=\"1093\"\u003eLighten the mood in your kitchen with our \u003cstrong data-start=\"256\" data-end=\"311\"\u003e“Calm Your Tits” Microfiber Waffle Weave Dish Towel\u003c\/strong\u003e, a hilarious yet highly functional addition to your everyday routine. Measuring 16x24, this durable woven towel features a premium waffle-weave pattern known for excellent absorbency, allowing you to dry dishes, large surfaces, and spills quickly and efficiently. The textured weave also helps trap tiny particles, reducing the chance of scratching delicate surfaces while producing a streak-free, lint-free finish. The bold, funny design is sublimated directly into the fibers—meaning it will never crack, fade, or peel, no matter how many times you wash it. Softer and less sticky than standard microfiber towels, this towel offers top-tier performance with a sassy twist. It’s perfect for kitchens, bathrooms, gifting, or anytime someone needs a not-so-gentle reminder to relax.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1095\" data-end=\"1446\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1095\" data-end=\"1140\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1097\" data-end=\"1140\"\u003e16x24 woven microfiber waffle-weave towel\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1141\" data-end=\"1188\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1143\" data-end=\"1188\"\u003eHighly absorbent for fast, efficient drying\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1189\" data-end=\"1237\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1191\" data-end=\"1237\"\u003eSublimated design won’t fade, peel, or crack\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1238\" data-end=\"1289\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1240\" data-end=\"1289\"\u003eLint-free, scratch-free, and streak-free finish\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1290\" data-end=\"1341\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1292\" data-end=\"1341\"\u003eWaffle texture helps prevent surface scratching\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1342\" data-end=\"1391\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1344\" data-end=\"1391\"\u003eSoft feel—less sticky than typical microfiber\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1392\" data-end=\"1446\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1394\" data-end=\"1446\"\u003eGreat for kitchens, cleaning, and humorous gifting\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Cleverish Co","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":49153807286509,"sku":null,"price":18.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0048\/0483\/7476\/files\/Calm_Your_Tits_Dish_Towel.jpg?v=1766184901","url":"https:\/\/edwardschic.com\/products\/funny-inappropriate-dish-towel-kitchen-towel-calm-your-tits","provider":"Edwards Chic","version":"1.0","type":"link"}